Two new mega prisons to be built for superinjunction culprits

Two new gigantic prisons are to built for the 75,000 people that broke superinjunctions on numerous footballers, TV stars and actors.

The mega prisons, to be built near the cultural wastelands of Slough and Wolverhampton, will house nearly 40,000 people who breached the superinjunction.

Among those that will be sent to the prisons include five people that called their pub quiz team "What does the o2 arena and Imogen Thomas have in common? They both have Giggs inside them."

A member of the pub quiz team said, "I can't believe we're going to jail, we won best quiz team name for that! It's a lot better than fucking Lionel Tap or Quiz-team Aguilera."

Other people destined for the slammer include Twitter users that thought of humorous Tweets involving the superinjunctees.

One Twitter user said, "I don't even know why I did that tweet about Giggs, I only have 10 followers. I don't even know if anyone listens to me half the time and now I'm going to jail - it takes the piss!"

The legendary footballer was outed by Birmingham MP John Hemming, a Birmingham City fan, who was bitter that Giggs could score yet his beloved Birmingham City failed to do so on regular occasions during the Premier League season.

Mr Hemming said, "Giggs is 37 and yet continues to score. Some of the Birmingham City players are 10, maybe even 15 years younger, and they never seem to score. It's unfair!"

Another footballer that has placed a superinjunction is threatening those that reveal his true identity with legal action and a prison sentence.

The footballer is an England international (somehow) and has been given the initials TSE, which stands for "That Shit England-midfielder." However, others have referred to him as TUTTLORPHATGUBHAUPOSWDHEPFEAWTBOWALWPNSHWGALIW, which stands for "That Useless Twat That Let Ozil Run Past Him And Then Gave Up Because He's A Useless Pile Of Shit, Why Does He Even Play For England? Are We That Bad? Oh Well At Least Wilshere's Playing Now So He Won't Get A Look In. Wanker!"

If more people continue to break superinjunctions then it's rumoured part of the Olympic Stadium will be turned into another mega prison, as half of the stadium will not be needed when West Ham are in League One after 2012.