Sunday, 10 July 2011

Murdoch in rehab for ginger fetish

Inside sources at News Corp have claimed that Rupert Murdoch is set to enter rehab for a ginger fetish.

It is believed that Murdoch's fetish for women with ginger hair is hindering his judgement and has led to him making extremely strange and irrational business decisions.

The peak of his ginger fetish came to a head last Friday when Mr Murdoch refused to sack head ginger and chief executive of News International Rebekah Brooks, but instead sacked the entire News of the World staff.

Rupert Murdoch's fetish for gingers has gone so far that sources close to him have claimed that he would shut down the whole of News International just to protect Rebekah Brooks who has been described by Murdoch as "the gingerest ginger" he has ever seen.

Prior to the phone hacking scandal, Mr Murdoch's family had grown worried at his obsession with gingers. His Thai bride Ting-Tong was frequently asked to put on a ginger wig during sexual role-play while Mr Murdoch rubbed ginger on his shrivelled gonads for arousal.

In the past he has been known to punish those gingers that rejected his advances, such as Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson and Ginger Spice Geri Halliwell, by publishing scathing articles in his newspapers.

It is not yet known which rehab facility Rupert Murdoch will attend, with the many refusing to take him in. This is because the majority of the facilities have been hacked into by the News of the World to satisfy their quest for truth...... and to see which minor celebrity is a crack addict or alcoholic.

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