Sunday 21 November 2010

Kings of Leon Disband After Disappearing Up Own Arseholes

The once great rock band Kings of Leon have disbanded with immediate effect after it was revealed that they have disappeared up their own arseholes. The news has come as a shock to some, but no surprise at all to others.

It is reported that during the recording of the band's fourth album, Only By The Night, lead singer Caleb Followill confessed to his bandmates/family members that he had been experimenting with sticking his index finger into his own anus. This then naturally led to the insertion of more fingers, followed by the whole fist, and then even the arm itself up to the elbow. After waxing lyrical about how amazing his own rectum was, the entire band followed suit, each finding the feel and smell incredibly moreish.

As this activity bordered on addiction, it is believed that Nathan Followill suggested that the band focus on actually trying to make music that actually had meaning and heart again. The concerns were laughed off, though, and the band went on to write Sex on Fire, Cold Desert and 17.

By the time the band came to record the follow up album Come Around Sundown, they were now completely immersed in their own arseholes, and Caleb was quoted at the time as saying "fuck it, let's just put any old shit out, the casuals are lapping this crap up." They managed to pull themselves out for a brief spell to record the video for the single Radioactive, in which they frolic with numerous black children, showing them a good time with their big rock star hearts, playing football with them, running through sprinklers, eating a tasty lunch and flying kites and such. The usual.

But now they have disappeared completely, fans have been reacting the world over. One fan claimed that "their first two albums are like a gift from a musical God, they were so raw, unique and different to anything else around at the time, even now. They did let their standards drop a bit, but now we know why we can try and learn the lessons and not disappear up our own arseholes."

Another fan, who was unaware of the band's disappearance simply commented; WWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SEX ON FIRE WOOOOOOO YEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

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