Father Christmas has been arrested as part of a police crackdown on paedophilles following the Jimmy Savile revelations. The arrest has put Christmas at risk for millions of children.
The Father Christmas arrest comes following allegations from hundreds of children who allegedly saw him emptying his sack in front of them every Christmas for the past ten years.
One victim said, "He would just come into our house and empty his sack all over the living room and into my stocking."
It is not yet know whether the victim's "stocking" is an euphemism or an actual stocking but police are looking into the matter.
In some cases the victims even claimed to be touched inappropriately by Father Christmas leading them to go as far to say that they "hate Christmas."
Another victim said, "Father Christmas would come into my room stinking of brandy and mince pies. He would then whisper in my ear before touching me inappropriately. There is a good chance that it was probably my pervy uncle Sidney, it certainly sounded like him, but it was probably Father Christmas."
The police have reassured the public that Father Christmas' arrest will not mean that Christmas is cancelled or at risk from being cut altogether. However, critics are less sure.
Lord Bell-end of Bell-enden says, "Father Christmas has put shame on the holiday we all love. He is an opportunistic and devious person that would take advantage of the UK public's goodwill and shamelessly empty his sack in front of children for years on end."
The arrest of Father Christmas has led to the police also investigating well-known children's TV characters who have had access to children in the past 20 years. Elmo has already been arrested for having sex with a minor but many popular children's TV figures are also set to follow.
A police spokesperson says,"I can confirm that we are investigating one person that has been allegedly undertaking paedophillic activities for the past 20 years. We can't confirm who this is, but let's just say he resides in Crinkly Bottom, used to hang out with a weird little man with a beard and is pink with yellow polka dots."
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