Al-Qaeda has announced its new recruitment programme will consist of clips from UK reality TV shows in a bid to get disgruntled individuals to join the organisation.
The clips will come from UK reality shows such as The Only Way is Essex, Geordie Shore and Made in Chelsea which all show the very worst of western civilization.
Al-Qaeda hope these clips will entice people who have grown disillusioned with western society and are fed up with all the talentless awful people on TV.
Recruitment to al-Qaeda has suffered recently after Jack Bauer assassinated the organisation's leader Osama bin Laden. However, recruitment specialists Reed have developed a programme that they believe will regain people's interest in the organisation.
A spokesperson from Reed said, "Our research shows that those joining al-Qaeda are likely to be really angry with the west. One of the things in western culture most likely to get people angry is reality TV shows. Big Brother has gone but fortunately for us and al-Qaeda there are loads of new shit reality TV shows on air at the moment."
"So far the recruitment drive has worked really well. Applications to join al-Qaeda have trebled since the new programme and applicants have come away from it feeling 250 per cent angrier from before, showing that the clips do work!"
Shadiqa al-Shahabadan, HR Manager at al-Qaeda, said, "We are impressed with the recruitment drive, but feel this is not the only reason why there has been such interest recently. At al-Qaeda we offer competitive packages for employees, such as free accommodation for "freedom fighters", free guns, training schemes, numerous wives and the promise of virgins in the afterlife. This is something that no other employer can match."
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