- England Rugby team lose to France in the quarter finals after three players steal the referee's radio and made lewd comments down it, instead of playing rugby. Posh people are hilarious!
- Rooney gets sent off after Dad and Uncle put on bet during Montenegro-England match.
- Amanda Knox is released from prison on the proviso of two bunga-bunga sessions with Berlusconi.
- The pioneer of Apple passes away. RIP Granny Smith.
- George Osborne panics after he hears that there's no more Jobs.
- Daily Mail to sue new film Contagion after it steals the newspaper's tagline "Nothing spreads like fear."
- Heather Mills gets blind drunk during McCartney wedding. Eyewitnesses at the pub said she was "legless."
- X-Factor announces a twist. None of the contestants are actually that talented.
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