Barclays have been appointed by UK government so they can manipulate Olympic security to be productive and efficient.
Following their successful manipulation of the Libor rates, bankers at Barclays have been appointed by the UK government to manipulate security at the Olympics to ensure it's not a total fuck up.
Barclays will use their experience from Libor to ensure there are minimal market risks (terrorists) to stop the Olympics from running effectively.
For manipulating security Barclays will be awarded with a multi-million pound government contract, plus all the champagne, cocaine and strippers they desire.
One Barclays employee says, "We've shown everyone how successfully we manipulated the financial markets, so why can we manipulate security too?"
Another employee says, "For some reason people don't like us, so maybe manipulating Olympic security will help . I don't know why people dislike us. I mean we behave irresponsibly, technically dabble in some illegal activity, demand bonuses for doing our job poorly, regularly use recreational drugs, visit strip clubs on a daily basis, let people know how much better we are than them and will occasionally visit a prostitute, but that's no reason to hate us."
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