Tomorrow is England's second European Championship Qualifying match against Switzerland, so with that in mind, we would like to dedicate this 'Man in Little Pants' sketch set in a brothel to the England football team.
Int. Man in little white pants sits on a chair in a brothel looking miserable and waiting for a prostitute. A Pimp walks in and starts talking to him.
Pimp: Hi there sir. Sorry for the wait. This is all a bit embarrassing and actually affects my reputation as one of the nastiest pimps around. But basically none of my girls, hos, sluts, whatever you want to call them, want to sleep with you. Yes, I know, it’s very embarrassing, especially for you and I. Not one of them wanted to do anything with you. And before you offer me more money, please don’t, there’s no amount of money that will convince them to sleep with you. And these girls are desperate, I’ve seen them do some really fucked up shit for very little money. I mean they have families to support and because they’re foreign they’ll do whatever you want.......for nothing! But, obviously they’re not desperate enough to sleep with you. Again I apologise, I threatened them a lot and that usually works. They just really didn’t want to sleep with you. It really put me out, usually they do anything I want, especially if I get the gun out and threaten their families, but this time it did not work. Just shows how badly they didn’t want to sleep with you and I don’t think any money or threats could change that. Anyway, sir, is it ok if you go now and don’t speak about this? I have a reputation to maintain within the prostitution and trafficking community. If I hear anything about this I will find you and fucking kill you. Thanks.
Man in little white pants gets up, turns around slowly and walks away.
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