The Oxford English dictionary is set to change the definition of the word 'victim' following Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney's claims that he's been a victim for the past six months.
The word 'victim' will now have the following definitions below:
1. Someone that pays for sex with a prostitute on more than one occasion.
2. Someone that performs poorly for a sustained period of time at his or her job.
3. Someone that demands an extortinate amount of money at his or her job.
4. Someone that speaks out against his or her boss when they try to give them time off to sort out their private life.
5. Scousers that would probably be thiefing toe-rags if they weren't good at football.
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