Controversial rap mega-star L-da-Lee Killa is set to take the horrific, mutant rap/hip hop juggernaut to dizzying new heights with the release of his new single I've Got Lots Of Money. The song is expected to dwarf all previous sales figures for a singles chart release, with an estimated 2.7 billion copies expected to be purchased or illegally downloaded within three days of its official release.
The song does not come without controversy, however. Critics have claimed that the lyrics are merely a cheap perpetuation of the rapid decline in substance and meaning in the songs that represent the current vapid, meaningless world of rap and hip hop. One snitch from the NME, who wanted to remain nameless, told us that "we didn't think that the quality of lyrics in these songs could get any more idiotic and materialistic, but once again we have been proven wrong. We are still waiting for an official nadir to be reached, but these artistes just keep plumbing new depths".
Lyrics of particular note that have been highlighted include:
Dis one's got love going out to da borders,
Got so much cash don't need standing orders,
Got dose paper statements in a massive stash,
So people know I got shitloads o cash,
Framing 'em and putting 'em up on my wall,
So peeps see 'em when dey walk through my hall.
Moreover, the song degenerates rapidly as it progresses, with the bulk of the second verse literally consisting of Mr. Killa reading out expensive transactions from his bank statement, including; a shopping trip to Selfridges to buy a seemingly inordinate amount of baggy jeans, but no belt, an afternoon spent in Schuh buying an infinite supply of white trainers, a quick jaunt to Swarovski for some incredibly garish jewelery, two days spent in New Era buying baseball caps but leaving all the stickers and tags on, and a day spent in Ikea buying lamps and meatballs are all mentioned in what is being called the most frighteningly frivolous verse of music ever written.
As if things could not get any worse, however, the three chorus' consists of L-da-Lee Killa simply repeating the five titular words of the song over and over again for five minutes at a time, an act that has been deemed as not only insulting and self-indulgent, but horrendously unimaginative and in no way creative.
'I've got lots of money' is available to purchase from Monday; but just remember, if you buy it you are only lining his pockets, and giving him more opportunity to write even more appalling songs. The greatest art comes out of struggle, strife and sadness, not affluence, prosperity and wealth.
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