Doctors have reported a record amount of masturbating-related injuries after nude photos of Scarlett Johansson were leaked on the internet.
The nude photos have led to some men taking part in 48 hour wankathons which caused, in some cases, severe nerval damage to the wrist.
One Doctor said, "The amount of wrist injuries we have received in the past 48 hours is ridiculous. Most men say it was caused when they were playing tennis, but it's far too convenient that all these people are suddenly "playing tennis" at the same time as these nude pictures were leaked."
"The NHS is stretched enough as it is, so the nude pictures of Scarlett Johansson could not have come at a worse time. We're running out of wrist guards and, in some extreme cases, slings."
Taking advantage of the leaked photos, Kleenex have developed their own Scarlett Johansson branded man-sized tissues to prepare men for their own personal wanking extravaganza.
A spokesperson for the company said, "Kleenex wishes to offer its customers the very best in comfort on their shaft while they masturbate over Scarlett and feels these new branded man-sized tissues will make the inevitable masturbating session a very pleasurable experience for them."
Due to the nude photos being leak, economic forecasters are predicting a poor week of financial results as most men will be staying at home masturbating.
George Osborne said, "This is yet another setback in the Coalition's plans for economic recovery after the disastrous legacy we inherited for the previous government."
"We are trying our best but unfortunately the economy cannot battle against these adverse challenges, such as the weather, the riots, and now the Scarlett Johnasson nude pictures."
Millions of bankers are set to miss work because of the nude pictures leak, which is probably a positive thing for the economy, as instead of wanking away millions of people's hard earned money, they will be wanking away to the photos.
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