Bose Study Reveals Most Frequently Switched Off Songs

A year long study by Bose has unearthed the songs that are most frequently switched off by men and women respectively. The study took 18 months to complete and cost around £1.7 million in total, but the results and the conclusions drawn from it look set to blow open the gender war once again.

According to the study, the song most likely to be switched off by women is Your Song, by Elton John. Of greatest interest, though, is that all of the women who took part in the study turned this song off at exactly the same point. The point in question is in the very first verse:

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but -

As a Bose tea boy, who happens to be a psychology graduate, explains: "When Elton muttered his humble, poor 'but', every woman in the survey turned off the stereo. It was uncanny. When they knew that the voice singing the tenderly loving words was actually a poor man, they just lost interest completely. The 'but' became irrelevant, as there is simply no argument: no money, no hope."

In contrast, the song most likely to be switched off by men is Wannabe, by the Spice Girls. As with the women in the study, the men all turned off this song at exactly the same point. This point was:

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends -

The same tea-boy-psychology graduate-insider revealed that "when the men heard a chirpy, flirty female voice saying that a man would have to socialise with her friends before they could become lovers, they instantly lost interest and switched the song off. Men think it's boring enough trying to cement a sexual relationship with a woman on a one-on-one basis, let alone having to get the approval of her friends before anything can happen. It's just simply not worth it, and the results reflect that."

Naturally, men and women around the country have been debating the results, with women complaining to their boyfriends and husbands that all they want is sex and don't care about their friends and their relationship, while men keep telling their girlfriends and wives to shut up and get into bed. It soon appeared, though, that most of these arguments were resolved when the men popped out and bought their women a nice present before they hopped into the sack and forgot all their problems.