Government Plan To Sterilise C.O.D. Fans Rumbled

A covert government plan to sterilise overly enthusiastic video games players (geeks) has been uncovered tonight, a matter of hours before it was set to be unleashed on the British public.

According to our sources, the coalition government had planned to use the release of the hotly anticipated video game Call of Duty: Black Ops to carry out a plan to sterilise the thousands of men/man-boys who planned to queue up outside shops and supermarkets in the pissing freezing rain at midnight in order to get a gay little computer game. Keen for this increasingly regular ritual of geekiness to stop, David Cameron gave the green light for an enormous fleet of transit vans to drive to every corner of the country, each equipped with the latest in testicle draining microwave technology. Once parked within range of their specified queue of geeks, the scrotum shrivelling, sperm stifling equipment would have been activated, rendering hundreds of thousands of X-Box 360 and Playstation 3 worshipping balls redundant.

A government source claims that, "those in Westminster have become increasingly concerned in the rapid increase of these "queue-up-like-losers" sessions for every big name title release. It's out of control; we've seen it for FIFA, Pro Evo, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, anything Grand Theft Auto related. It's so out of control now that the release of the new Jonas Brothers Guitar Hero Vs. Robert Pattinson Halo game has been put back due to expected queues outside major entertainment store chains of upto ten miles. It's ridiculous."

The mission to stop these men from being able to bring new life into the world and thus perpetuate the problem has for now been abandoned. A new plan is not necessarily a top priority, however, as the government has been advised that the likelihood of these men ever finding a woman to want to have sex with them, let alone start a family, is slim to none, as they are more concerned with completing every facet of the game before their friends do than with building a relationship with a woman.