British Relations With Germany Under Strain Due To Erroneous Emoticon :-s

Having pissed off the majority of the UK, Prime Minister David Cameron has taken to annoying people on the continent. His actions have now caused political relations between Great Britain and Germany to plummet to new lows after a seemingly erroneous emoticon placed in an email to German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

Cameron had been in Berlin for the previous two days, engaging in meetings with his Teutonic counterpart in order to improve trade relations between the two countries. These meetings had widely been reported as being incredibly positive, with two politicians seemingly wanting to actually get a solution to a common problem without simply refusing to budge on their own personal vendettas. However, yesterday evening, having reconvened to his hotel room to freshen up before dinner at a Bratwursthaus, Mr. Cameron sent Ms. Merkel an email asking "Looking forward to the big meat?" At this point, though, instead of inserting a :-) (smiley face), Mr. Cameron accidentally inserted a ;-) (smiley winking face), instantly sending his email from innocent, (public) schoolboy naivety to an email dripping with smut and sleaze.

Upon receiving the email, Ms. Merkel was reportedly thrown into a state of shock and confused arousal at its incredibly suggestive nature. Naturally, Mr. Cameron went straight on the defensive, claiming, "I was in a rush as I had the shower running and I was talking to Sarah on FB chat, and in my haste I didn't hold down the shift key as I pushed down on the colon/semi colon key, and then Bob's your uncle, I look like a pervert."

Ms. Merkel, however, is having none of it, and has immediately closed down all trade links with Great Britain, and has banned all British TV shows from being aired on German television, including Big Break and Bruce Forsyth era The Generation Game.

Mr. Cameron has now returned to British shores where he now hopes to piss off students, nurses and doctors, police officers, teachers, civil servants and dogs. But still, these things need to be done. We salute you O Glorious Leader!