Daily Mail World

The Daily Mail is brilliant isn't it? We all love something or someone that is unintentionally hilarious when they/it are trying to be serious. We simply observed a few of the Daily Mail's headlines over a short period of time and just imagined what it would be like to live in a world dominated by the Daily Mail. We thought it would look a little like this:

Camera angle is looking down a normal suburban street. The words ‘Daily Mail World’ are captioned briefly at the bottom of the screen. The camera slowly moves down the street. We encounter white people walking around purposefully, muttering inaudible things under their breath. Two people stop and point at one piece of litter on the floor.

Person 1: Look at that! It’s a disgrace! It’s a disgrace!

Person 2: It’s disgraceful! This is why Britain is sliding into the gutter. It’s a disgrace!

Some more people gather around the piece of litter and they all mutter or shout “it’s a disgrace!” and point at the litter. The camera moves away from this scene, continuing down the street. A postman is leaning against a wall having a little break, smoking a cigarette. One person stops and starts pointing at the postman.

Person 3: You’re a disgrace! This is disgraceful behavior! You’re the reason Britain isn’t great anymore! It’s a disgrace!

The camera continues to move down the street before stopping. An Asian man parks a car by the curb and exits the vehicle. As he walks away from the car the people nearby start screaming and panicking.

Person 4: It’s a car bomb! He’s a terrorist!

People fling themselves to the floor, shielding themselves and each other from the seemingly inevitable explosion. One woman turns to run but runs straight into a black man and falls to the floor. He apologizes and offers to help the woman up, but she has a look of sheer terror on her face.

Person 5: No, please! Don’t stab me! Just take my money and leave me alone!

The sound of an angry crowd can be heard off screen and the camera turns to see a mob of people chasing a car that is towing a caravan. A person’s face suddenly appears in front of the camera.

Person 6: (shouting) It’s a disgrace!