Having spent numerous Friday and Saturday nights at home on my own because I'm cool, I started to notice an annoying, mystifying pattern: the people who were actually out having fun, or were supposed to be out having fun, where constantly updating their facebook statuses via their mobile phones. To me this just seemed hilarious as I pictured all these people out in pubs, bars and clubs breaking off conversations and activities to pull out their phones and update their facebook.
Naturally, we took this a bit further and imagined two of these people, a man and a woman, meeting on one of these nights out and then starting a life together, breaking off from the important moments in life to update their facebooks. This is Part 1, when they meet.
Int. In a nightclub. Music is playing, multicoloured lights play around on the walls. The camera moves towards the bar where a guy and a girl are standing ordering some drinks. As the order is being fulfilled the guy and the girl look at each other but can’t find the words to start a conversation, they both laugh at the same time and quickly turn their back on each other, pulling out their phones. They start typing away, updating their facebook statuses. They read aloud as they type.
Guy: (talking while typing) is at the bar with a proper fit girl, just getting some drinks in – she’s a proper cutie.
Girl: (talking while typing) is at the bar with a well hot guy, he’s so funny and lovely. Just getting some drinks in now whoop whoop lol.
With their drinks now on the bar they turn to face each other and continue laughing.
Guy: You ready for these drinks then?
Girl: Only if you are.
Guy: Course I bloody am.
They down three consecutive shots each and start hacking and coughing immediately after.
Guy: Urgh, that was disgusting.
Girl: So wrong.
They look at each other in silence again as the words fail. They turn away from each other again and get their phones out, typing away and speaking out loud.
Guy: has just done three shots at the bar. FUCKING BRING IT ON! So up for this fitty now.
Girl: just done 2 straight shots of Jagermeister at the bar followed by a sambucca, gonna be a messy one whoop whoop, bring it on.
The couple turn to face each other again and smile at each other.
Guy: Fancy going to the dancefloor?
Girl: Yeah, definitely.
They head off to the dancefloor. After a brief cut we seem them dancing together. He is standing behind her with his hands on her hips while she grinds him. Every now and then people around them on the dancefloor pull out their phones and start typing away, talking out loud, but cannot be heard distinctly. The girl turns herself around and looks up at the guy. He leans down and the two start to kiss passionately. When they finish they look at each other shyly. The turn away from each other and pull their phones out, typing and talking:
Guy: Just got off with that proper fit girl, smiley face. Hopefully be taking that home tonight to bang.
Girl: OMG just snogged that fit guy – what a kisser smiley winking face. Such a good night kiss kiss.
They turn and face each other again and pick up where they left off dancing. After a while the guy leans down and whispers something in her ear which is inaudible. She nods and they vacate the dancefloor.
Cut to a scene of the them kissing in the back of a taxi. Afterwards they look at each other again and turn away, withdrawing their phones, typing and talking.
Guy: is in a cab with the fitty now, just got off with her again. On the way back to my place now, get in there.
Girl: in a cab now with my guy, heading back to his winking smiley face.
Cut to a scene of them falling apart having just finished making love. They are both out of breath. They each lean out their respective sides of bed to find their phones, before typing and talking.
Guy: Just smashed that fitty, she’s awesome, really nice girl. Now time for bed, night to ma peeps.
Girl: just slept with my guy, he’s so sweet and amazing. I think he really gets me. Looking forward to hugging and talking all night. Night for now guys kiss kiss.
They both put their phones down and grin idiotically at each other.
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