The 'Man in Little White Pants' sketch came from the idea of having someone getting rejected in seemingly unrejectable situations. The 'Man in Little White Pants' doesn't say anything and just takes the abuse from whoever or wherever he's getting rejected from.
Int. Man in little white pants (a balding, chubby, short, middle-aged man) is sitting in the waiting room of a massage parlour. The manager walks in.
Manager: Hi there sir, sorry for the delay (pauses). Right.....errmmm....I don’t know quite how to say this so I’m just going to say it. None of our girls want to massage you. I know – it’s not great really. Unfortunately they had one look at you and basically point blank refused. I’m not going to beat around the bush sir, they think you’re hideous. (Starts laughing) Actually, one of them said, and I quote “There’s no fucking way I’m massaging that ugly tosser, not even for my 2 kids.” So......ye......powerful stuff. Try not to feel too disheartened sir, we’ve all been there.....well actually we haven’t. No one’s ever been rejected from this massage parlour and we really need the business so that probably tells you how strongly they felt about not massaging you and your general appearance. Basically you’re the first person not get a massage from us, I guess that makes you unique? Maybe something to tell the grandkids? But I doubt that will happen because if no-one will massage you for money, then, probably, no-one will want to shag you (starts laughing). Anyway sir, I’m deeply embarrassed by the whole situation...well maybe not as much as you (starts laughing). I would give you some vouchers for a free massage, but as you’ve seen from today, no-one wants to massage you, so it would be pretty pointless. So, if you could leave before you or I get more embarrassed then that would be great. Thank you.
Man in little white pants gets up and leaves in his shoes, walking out the entrance.
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