Anarchist outrage at lack of Olives

White middle-class anarchists are said to be outraged at the lack of Olives in their local Waitrose. This has caused widespread riots in the London suburbs of Mill Hill, Hampstead, Richmond and parts of suburban Surrey.

Middle-class anarchists were initially outraged by what was happening in Tottenham, even though they have no idea why people were rioting in the first place, and left their detached four bedroom houses to join the riots.

However, before they got on a train the anarchists picked up a few essential snacks from Waitrose. This included humus, Kettle chips, olives, brie, salmon and a stick of French bread. But, the supermarket didn't have any Olives causing widespread chaos in the Waitrose, as the anarchists contested the lack of Olives with a Sales Assistant.

This eventually led to the anarchists cancelling their trip to Tottenham and instead focusing their attention on their local Waitrose by ransacking the store in front of terrified shoppers while demanding Olives.

Henry Wallace-Jones, an 18 year old from Cobham, said, "Me and my chums were going to start some anarchy in Tottenham. We don't know why they're rioting, all we know is that we wanted to be there starting trouble."

"I'm just so annoyed and angry with everything. I have to share a PS3 and X-Box with my brother. I don't have an en-suite bathroom attached to my bedroom. And only have a 52 inch flat screen TV in bedroom. I just need to let me anger out!!!!"

It was also revealed by one of his friends Roy Osborne III that they didn't actually know where Tottenham was. "Isn't it near Chelsea?" he said.

Luckily Henry and his friends only concentrated their obvious anger on their local Waitrose. "If we went to Tottenham then things would've really kicked off", Henry said.

However, eyewitnesses at their local Waitrose were said to less than impressed with their apparent anarchy. One said, "I saw them crying to a Sales Assistant at the lack of Olives. They then put up their Jack Wills' hoodies, barely covering their faces, and started knocking over a few cartons of Covent Garden soup and shaking up fizzy drinks before placing them carefully back on the shelf."

"It wasn't really anarchy but they seemed happy with themselves for some reason. As soon as they saw a friend of the family they all scattered running out of the supermarket with a Curly-Wurly before placing it back in the supermarket after the alarm went off."

Henry and his friends are set to start more anarchy this weekend, perhaps moving further north of Cobham and stepping into the territory of Richmond.

Henry said, "We are going to start some serious shit in Richmond. If their branch of Waitrose don't have Olives then things are going to kick-off!"

"We are not happy with how things are being run in this country. How dare they expect us to live in the basic poverty of suburban Surrey. It's just now on and I'm so angry!!!!!"

Despite his obvious anger, Henry was unable to answer further questions. His parents picked him up so he could return for a family dinner.