Woman Files For Divorce Due To Lack Of Sunburn Sympathy

A woman from Kent has filed for divorce from her husband yesterday due to "constant negligence with regards to painful sunburn". The woman, who has remained nameless, claims that the negligence was displayed over the span of a decade of sunburnt summers, during which her husband refused to show her any sympathy for failing to learn her lesson.

The final straw came during a recent heatwave that had Britons stewing in their own juices. On one particular Saturday morning, the woman vacated her house clad in a dainty bikini and took up residence in her back garden where she proceeded to lay for the next six hours. Upon returning to the house and showering, the woman soon realised that 92% of her skin had been severely burnt by the sheer awesome force of the awesome sun.

After this painful discovery, the woman coated herself in a thick layer of after-sun lotion before spending the evening standing up in the living room watching television, unable, as she was, to sit or lay down. It was at this point that her husband returned home and, upon seeing his oily wife burnt to a crisp and standing in obvious pain, he started to laugh heartily to himself.

The woman promptly exploded with rage and demanded sympathy. There was none forthcoming, so she very slowly, and very awkwardly, packed up some belongings and stormed out of the house. Three days later she filed for divorce.

In his defence, the woman's husband claimed that his wife continually refused to learn her lesson as she has suffered severe sunburn during nine of the last ten summers. The only reason it is not ten out of ten summers is because in the summer of 2007 it has been scientifically proven that the sun did not actually shine at all. The man reasoned that upon "seeing her burnt to a crisp once again, I just couldn't help but laugh at how someone can make the same mistake year in, year out, and then expect sympathy for it".

After a small fit of laughter the husband continued, saying; "it just seems so obvious to me; if one year you lay out in the sun and get horrifically burnt, then you won't do it again the next year because you remember how painful it was. But she just does it every single year, and every time she does it she comes crying to me."

The case is expected to be settled within the month, with the husband retaining custody of the sun block, and his wife gaining custody of the after-sun lotion.