Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Arsene Wenger and Colonel Gaddafi share same levels of denial

A new denial scale has exclusively revealed that Colonel Gaddafi and Arsene Wenger have exactly the same levels of denial.

The new denial scale revealed these findings after Wenger's claims two months ago that Nasri and Fabregas would not leave Arsenal and Gaddafi's recent claims that the Libyan people love him.

Despite these claims, it has since been revealed that both men were experiencing severe cases of denial. With Fabregas and Nasri leaving Arsenal and the Libyan people staging a revolution against the tyrannical Gaddafi regime.

Dr David Nile, founder of the Denial Scale, spoke on the findings claiming that both men had record denial levels which were "off the scale."

He said, "I've never seen denial levels like this before. The way both men claim the opposite of what everyone else was thinking is simply unbelievable. However, perhaps more surprisingly, they seemed so sure in their convinctions."

Other denialees included Sepp Blatter for his numerous claims that FIFA is not a corrupt organisation. However, his denial levels could easily be confused for downright lies, so was not one of the top scorers on the denial scale.

Dr David Nile says, "That is one flaw with the denial scale, sometimes people in denial can be confused for those that are just outrageous liars. However, we're perfecting the scale to understand the difference between those denying obvious truths and liars."

After these results Gaddafi and Wenger have contacted each other to form the National Denial Alliance to provide support for each other as they continue to make outrageous denials in the public domian. It has been rumoured that Gaddafi recently told Wenger to follow his methods by killing those that defy him, starting with Samir Nasri.

In return Wenger offered Bendtner to Gaddafi for £6 million, but this has since been turned this down with Gaddafi claiming he "would only pay a pint of oil" for the striker.

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