Who cares about real news? It's all about soap stars and who Jordan's shagging.
Int. A 24 hour news studio.
Anchorman: The breaking news story from earlier today is that [massive soap star] has quit her role in the hit soap [whatever]. The decision has left the shows fans in disarray, with some even flocking to the studios to pay tribute to the greatest soap actor of her generation, who has never appeared in any kind of feature film, while others sat at home and wept for hours. High praise has been flooding in from all corners of the entertainment world, praising her loyalty and wishing her all the best for the future.....I'm sorry, look, is this really news? Who cares about this rubbish? It's such inane nonsense....ok ok...[soap actress] has revealed she doesn't know what the future holds for her, but she is hoping that she will enjoy the next step as much as her last....in other news North Korea has stepped up its nuclear weapons testing and is massing troops along its border with South Korea, mounting fears that nuclear Armageddon is only days away...of course if that nuclear Armageddon does happen, we will have live and exclusive coverage right here on WHY News.
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