In a similar tone to 'Anthony The Gay Man', this split screen sketch compares the reactions of women to the behaviour of heterosexual men and a certain type of homosexual man. It just pokes a bit of fun at women who essentially get exploited by the flamboyant gay man. It's little wonder that the bond between gay men and women is so strong, because women let them get away with absolutely anything!
Int. One half of the screen. Straight man drunkenly grabbing girl’s breasts in a night club. She slaps him and he gets dragged out by the bouncer.
Other half of the screen. Gay man drunkenly grabbing girl’s breasts in a night club. She loves it and encourages it.
Girl: You’re such a laugh Simon! Hahahahahaha (laughing hysterically).
One half of the screen. A group of girls are in a room together at Uni. They overhear a straight man having sex with a girl. All of them look at each other with disgust.
Girl 1: Fucking hell! It’s disgusting. He’s at it all the time.
Girl 2 (bashing her fist on the wall): SHUT THE FUCK UP! (Shouting).
Other half of the screen. A group of girls are in a room together at Uni. They overhear a gay man having sex with another man. All of them look at each other laughing.
Girl 1: He’s such a man slut (giggling).
Girl 2: Shall I bang on the wall?
Girl 1: No don’t it’s cute.
The girls hear more sex noises and go “awwww” together in collective harmony.
One half of the screen. A girl walks into the lounge and there’s a used condom on the sofa. She knocks on a straight man’s door. He opens the door.
Girl: This is fucking disgusting Thomas. Can you throw your fucking used condoms in the bin you disgusting prick?! (Chucks used condom at him and walks down the stairs in a mood).
Other half of the screen. A girl walks into the lounge and there’s a used condom on the sofa. She knocks on a gay man’s door. He opens the door.
Girl: What’s this all about Simon? Another used condom on the sofa?
Simon: I’m sorry girl. I just got caught up in a moment of passion and shagged this amazing bloke right on the sofa. I feel so filthy and slutty. It was brilliant! (Starts laughing).
Girl: It’s ok Simon, I’ll throw it away, as long as you promise to fill me in on all the gory details later!
Simon: Of course, you know I always do (Laugh and give each other high fives). And whilst you’re there, can you clean this? (Gives the girl his dildo).
Girl: Sure babe (Grabs dildo and used condom and walks down the stairs).
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