No-one likes chavs and, like some sort of hideous pandemic, they seem to be multiplying by the second. This is where the 'Night of the Living Chavs' idea came from. Normal people turning to chavs, the moment one of the scumbags look at them and mutter the line "What you looking at?!"
Int. A smartly dressed man walking down a street glances up and catches the attention of a chav for a split second.
Chav: What you looking at?!
The man ignores the comment and walks on.
Man: Aaahhh! (Holds his head as if a sharp pain has just penetrated his skull).
Man ignores the pain and walks to meet his girlfriend. They both hug and walk down the High Street.
The scene moves to a shot of the man and his girlfriend in JD Sports.
Girlfriend: I don’t know why you want to go here? You only ever go here to get sports clothes and you have enough already.
Man: I just liked the look of a few clothes in here. Can’t be any harm to have a look.
Girlfriend: Fine (looking annoyed).
Shot of the changing room. Man walks out in a full-on tracksuit ensemble (all white number).
Man: (Looking pleased with himself) So what do you think then?
Girlfriend: You look like a chav!
Man: (Looks at himself in the mirror) Oh ye of course I do. God, don’t know what I was thinking.
Man goes back to changing rooms.
Scene goes to the man’s bedroom in the morning. The Girlfriend leaves the bed and gets up.
Girlfriend: Come on lazy bones. Get up!
Girlfriend removes the duvet to find the man dressed up in a full-on chav tracksuit ensemble.
Girlfriend: (Screaming) Oh my god what’s happened to you?!?!
Man: (Half asleep) What, what?! (Looks at himself in the mirror). Shit! What the fuck has happened to me blud!
Girlfriend: Blud?! What does that mean sweetie?
Man: (Gets up) I don’t know, I don’t know what’s happened (Suddenly gets another sharp pain in his head) AAAAAHHHHHHH!
Girlfriend: What’s wrong sweetie?
Man: (Turns around to look at is girlfriend) What the fuck you looking at?!
Girlfriend: (Gets sharp pain in her head) AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Shot of the house completely destroyed. The two BMWs have been replaced with a quad bike, a mini-moto and two mopeds. The house is in a complete state and the couple are drinking Super Tennants, strong cider and watching Jeremy Kyle on TV, while dressed in a full tracksuit ensemble and shouting at each other in unrecognisable chav speak.
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