The Sun World

This is more or less a direct follow up to Daily Mail World, but just with the thoughts of how amazing/tedious it would be to live in a world governed by The Sun newspaper.

Ext. A suburban street. A caption reading “The Sun World” appears briefly at the bottom of the screen.
A man in light blue jeans (with a rolled up newspaper in one of the back pockets), a white polo shirt and white trainers is walking down the street. He purposefully approaches a non-white family leaving a house.

Sun Man: Look at that house, it’s got to be worth at least five hundred thou, maybe five and a half, and it’s been given out to you people who have just got off the boat! It should go to a nice, peaceful British family who will take care of it and maintain the spirit of the neighbourhood.

Sun Man’s attention is taken by a group of white people loitering around as one of them hands around some money. He runs over aggressively.

Sun Man: You people make me sick! It’s eleven in the morning, shouldn’t you be at work? No of course not, you’ve just been down the dole office and sponged your benefits for the week off of people like and my friends over there (points back at the family he has just abused) who pay our taxes. Rot in hell benefit cheat scum!

His attention is caught by something else, this time a super car that roars horrendously down the street. He looks at it passing with reverence and awe, like a Christian would the second coming of Christ.

Sun Man: Wow – a Dodge Viper SRT – 10. 500bhp and 500lbft provided by a gargantuan 8.3L engine, the larget capacity engine ever offered in a production car. Throw in the 0-60 in 4 seconds and a top speed of 185mph and you’ve got yourself an absolute beast. It’s heaven, for real men only. Like me.

Once again his attention is grabbed by something else. Across the street he sees a man trying to steal a car radio. As the thief tries to escape he gets his foot stuck in a drain before being apprehended by some good Samaritans.

Sun Man: (laughing with pity) What a numpty eh? Where do they come from? Bless him for trying though, the scamp.

As he turns away from this scene he sees a woman in a skimpy bikini a few yards away who is simply standing still in a sultry pose, smiling. He approaches her.

Sun Man: Who are you?

Woman: I’m Summer, 18, from Woking.

Sun Man: Summer, what do you think about Prince William’s efforts in continuing his mother’s legacy of charity work?

Summer: I think it’s great.

As Summer says this she simply smiles and leans forward slightly, squeezing her breasts together. Sun Man smiles and wipes a tear away from his eyes, before placing his hand over his heart and looking boldly toward to the sky – he takes a deep breath.

Sun Man: RULE BRITTANIA, BRITTANIA RULES THE WAVES -